Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Two Ex-Bestfriends

Best friend back in Grade 6 to 2nd Year High School is now happily in a relationship with a foreigner. I keep seeing her status updates in Facebook about the guy. They are currently abroad traveling together. They seem happy with each other. The guy's good-looking and seems to be someone with sense. Ha-ha!

A part of me is envious because she finally found someone. Maybe, one day, I will find mine, too? This year? Next?

Best friend back in college days who was formerly a high school close friend is married to a woman who I think manipulated him in more ways than one. I remember when he used to hang out here at home, he would tell me about his plans for the future, of how he wanted to have a family of his own, wife AND KIDS! But the woman had no plans of conceiving, obviously, because she has a set of nephew and nieces she adores so much. She sicced her nephew and nieces on him and, well, they became their 'babies'. I feel sad for him. He wanted to have a large family of his own because he was an only child and his father abandoned him and his mother in favor of a new family with a couple of kids. Oh, well, it may not be the life he wanted but it is now the life that he chose.

I miss the latter a lot. He used to be my confidante, the person with whom I could tell my worries and fears about my career and finances. We used to share dreams about the future especially in our careers and immediate family. When he got married, it all changed. It's okay with me. I just miss the friend I used to have.

I will be completely happy on my own eventually, I know that. For now, I just let myself feel sadness, envy, and then I tell myself to move on.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Burnt out!

The drive isn't there anymore.

'Yan ang lagi kong naiisip na pilit kong inaalis sa isipan ko. Nakakahiya kasi na sa rami ng blessings na dumarating sa akin, hindi ko dapat naiisip ang ganito. Hindi ako dapat nakakaramdam ng pagod.

But the truth is that I am exhausted beyond exhaustion! I think you call this burnt out. I have no one to blame but myself, of course. I have spread myself too thin and this is the price I have to pay for pushing myself too far.

I've been thinking of so many things the past several days. To be honest, I am now thinking more and more of going back to the corporate world. For real, this time around. I still scared of going back but the excitement is also present alongside the fright. I know I can do it! For how long is the question. Hahaha!

I am crossing my fingers and praying really hard that things will fall into place very soon. My mind might still change in the next couple of days but I think I can safely say that I am 65% sure of going back to being a corporate rat.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Money is what I need!

We are having the second floor of our house renovated. It is being prepped for my brother and his soon-to-be wife with their unborn baby in mind, of course. To date, I am already shelling out thousands of peso for the renovation and there will be more to budget in the coming days.

Needless to say, I need more money to pour in. It is pouring out faster and who wants money to flow out that way, right? I need cash and some sectors of my life are not cooperating. Hmp!

I will write an update once the second floor is close to completion.

The rest of July 2013, please be extra good to me financially please!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Busy month ahead.

It will be one heck of a month, I am sure of it! June will be a busy month for me as I am helping my brother and his fiancee prepare their wedding. I am all stressed out over it particularly on the budgeting part. We don't have that much in terms of finances right now so it's doubly hard to shell out money.

I learned that preparing a wedding can be a pain in the ass! And no matter how hard you try to be as frugal as possible, the cost is still staggering! I can't believe that a suit can cost as much! Or a bouquet of calla lilies! Ugh!

Of course, at the end of the day, it's still about the couple getting married. At the end of the day, I am still helping prepare the wedding of our only brother (the other one passed away more than a decade ago).

I just wish I can get enough funds to cover everything including the very expensive photo and video coverage services!

June, please be good to me! Please rain in more blessings as I truly need it.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Very near completion...

Less than 3K words and I am done with the very first one. Yeah!

It was hard. I thought it would only take me close to two weeks to get it completed but I was wrong. It was hard to give birth to words if you are in a situation. You really need to be away from it all. You need to know how to separate your reality from the world you are trying to create and temporarily live in.

Good thing I have someone to push me to move forward and complete my very first. If it wasn't for my sister Meng, I would have set it aside like I always do and just let my dream of being one pass.

I can already taste the fulfillment of completing 24K words!

Very soon...

But then after that, it will be on to editing. Haha!